FUSSES
Fuss of the day - school lunch menu issues yesterday! We often have something called ABC soup which is very thin soup (ie brine) with quail's eggs and ham floating in it (as you do) plus some mini pasta in the shape of letters. We had ABC soup yesterday BUT on the menu was written "ABC salad." Expected reaction - everybody would realise straight away that it was a typo and not think any more of it, especially as we have NEVER had ABC salad before but get ABC soup once a fortnight. Actual reaction - ginormous fuss. Every single person that eats in the staff room made a comment. "I thought it was salad." "Have the llunch ladies cooked the wrong thing?" "I was hoping for salad with pasta letters in it" (2 teachers actually said something like that.) A couple of teachers actually came running in from their classrooms to check that they had the right thing, as if the lunch people were just gonna go, "oh yes you're right, we've accidentally made soup" or "haha, joke to see if you were paying attention! Give back the soup, we've got ABC salad waiting in the lunch room for you." I said nothing. At least one person reacted normally.
Fuss of the day: My hair being spikier than usual prompting (I did count) SEVEN comments and one girl pointing, screaming and running away. My boss also asked me if I had had colour put in when I was in England (which I hadn't), because it looked blonder, and also more purple (!?).
Fuss of the day: This is more of a surprisingly uncharacteristic non-fuss of the day. I am sure that you all remember my endless talk of endless rehearsals for the graduation ceremony right? Japan is a land of practice...they even rehearse sports day and sports matches sometimes!! Yet, we also had an opening ceremony for the new kids in the junior high school, which was just as drawn out and official and complicated as the graduation ceremony, and much more so than a football match or whatever by my judgement at least, and included ME having to actually take part and introduce myself in Japanese with a (totally unnecessary) microphone, yet that came and went (pretty successfully) without even one minute of rehearsal, or, certainly in my case, any information as to what would be happening and when. Japan WHY OH WHY?? However, there was a fair share of fuss during the ceremony, for example, which order the teachers should introduce themselves in (one of the few things I would say that is worthy of rehearsal, or at least consideration before the ceremony, that was for some reason neglected) and a gasp of many parents when I started speaking, as they thought I couldn't speak Japanese...all I said was "I'm Mark and I'm an English Language Assistant", to a group of people who already know that, but it was still (very embarrassingly and off-puttingly) gasp-worthy.
Fuss of the day: One of those cup and ball toys in the office (“traditionally Japanese” supposedly, but I’m not so sure it comes from here…bare in mind that half of Japan seems to think everything from spaghetti to hamburgers comes from Japan), caused a great deal of entertainment today. Literally ALL day, no matter who picked it up and gave it a go, whether they possessed some freak cup-and-ball skill or were just plain shit, received cheers and whoops…for a reserved people, a cup and ball certainly got them going!
Fuss of the day : The "Who's read the most books fuss." This week all the schools are giving out prizes to the kids who have read the most books (although the top one has supposedly read almost 300 books this year, so I think it's more a "who's taken the most books out of the library and not even opened them" prize). Anyway, it involves a lenghty assembly, in which more than half than kids in the school stand up and get applauded (that's not an exaggerration) and then about 15 or so of them get a certificate and a prize (which just looked like bits of card cut into shapes to me, but don't quote me on that). The head teacher shakes everyone's hand AND READS every word on every certificate, which takes a minute a piece (that's 15 minutes of looking at someone's back while the head teacher reads the EXACT same words, the only difference being the name). THAT is a fuss that means very well, but it's really a fuss that I could do without.
Fuss of the day : The "Who's read the most books fuss." This week all the schools are giving out prizes to the kids who have read the most books (although the top one has supposedly read almost 300 books this year, so I think it's more a "who's taken the most books out of the library and not even opened them" prize). Anyway, it involves a lenghty assembly, in which more than half than kids in the school stand up and get applauded (that's not an exaggerration) and then about 15 or so of them get a certificate and a prize (which just looked like bits of card cut into shapes to me, but don't quote me on that). The head teacher shakes everyone's hand AND READS every word on every certificate, which takes a minute a piece (that's 15 minutes of looking at someone's back while the head teacher reads the EXACT same words, the only difference being the name). THAT is a fuss that means very well, but it's really a fuss that I could do without.
Fuss of the day : This is a fuss that is always going on in Japan, but especially at this time of year. Japan LOVES to practise things, I mean events and stuff. And I don't mean, give it a quick run through the day before, I mean, (in schools cases), cancel lessons, sometimes whole days of school, to rehearse something so many times, that everyone has already seen it five times the whole way through, taking all the fun out of the actual event itself. I am currently watching graduation ceremony practices in all of my primary schools and most of them don't happen for another two weeks. I have also just heard that the juniour high school (which I am not at this month) has a mini inter-class basketball and volleyball tournament next week, and so they have had two lessons off already to REHEARSE basketball and volleyball matches. What a fuss!
Fuss of the Day: I created a fuss of my own in one of the graduation rehearsals the other day. I was late, cos all the schools have different timetables from each other, and they change their own ones at the drop of a hat (usually so that they have extra time to rehearse something), so I have no idea whether I'm coming or going half of the time. Anyway, so I run down to the hall wanting to sneak in quietly, the doors are shut and I open them and everyone is facing the back of the hall, where the doors are, and they all start clapping. Then I turn around and right behind me is the super-duper important head teacher and they were all waiting for his arrival to rehears the applause they will give him when he arrives on the actualy day...and what they get is a flustered, confused Mark, running in in front of him!! SO embarrassing!!!
Fuss of the day : OK, so, for once this is not a bitch or a moan (shock! horror! I hear you cry), but a nice fuss that happened at my taiko group on Monday. (Taiko is Japanese drumming that I go to once a week...it's great fun, great to imagine the head of one of the teachers I don't like in the middle of the drum, I do understand very little of what's going on though (what's new) and look RIDICULOUS in the costume that is so uncomfortable I think it must have been made to punish people for murder or something along those lines...) Anyway, back to NOT complaining (I'm trying)...it was my birthday yesterday and lo and behold it was also the birthday of another guy in my taiko group. OK, so in a group of 20-odd people, I can see that that is unlikely and interesting, and might lead to about a minute's worth of conversation in the UK...here, it caused the fuss of the century, like, I mean, we talked about how amazing and what a "good thing" it was for about half an hour, both last Sunday when we all realised and this Monday when we had our taiko meeting....I mean, you would have thought that we'd discovered we were long, lost twins, not just shared a birthday (not the same year by the way...not by a LONG shot). Still, it was nice fuss, because one of the people made a cake and they all sang us happy birthday, but still, how many times can one person put his arm around me and say "good thing" "birthay....same"??!
Fuss of the day : My supervisor (sort of boss I suppose) from the town hall ringing me yesterday evening (Thu) to ask if I have my schedule of classes for March for the "West" school yet. I said no, so she said that she would ask the lady to send it to her today (Fri) and that she would bring it to the meeting that both me, her and the lady would all be at this evening (Fri). My schedule for the "West" school subsequently being sent by fax from the "West" school to the town hall by fax, without anyone mentioning it to me, even though I was AT the "West" school today and my desk is about 3 foot from the fax machine! My supervisor then forgetting to bring the schedule to the meeting we were ALL at, meaning that I had been sitting in the same room as my schedule all day, and was then sitting in a room with two people who had had my schedule today, yet, the only person who needs the bloody thing (ie me) still hasn't seen hide nor hair of it!!
Fuss of the day : when one of the teachers had some leftover cream from cookery class and brought it in to the staffroom to off it to the other teachers for their coffee....that was 10 minutes of wooing and gasping and 15 minutes of cream-related conversation right there!
Fuss of the day : a spillt cup of green tea in the staff room....nuff said