First Reverse Culture Shock....PUBLIC TRANSPORT

I am going to do my absolute best to not make all of my reverse culture shock negative things about how rubbish London is compared to the heavenly land of milk of honey (or sushi and udon) aka Japan, but one thing that is TRULY frustrating is the public transport in London, especially when you have just come from a country where they manage to make trains run on time and put out an apology (you can hear the bows in their voices) if it is even one minute late. No such luck in London town...I wonder if maybe they make an announcement when the trains arrive on time (Ryan Air styleeee), but I wouldn't know because I've never experienced a South Eastern train run on time. South Eastern are the overground service that go to Greater South East London and is the company I have to use, along with the rest of the damned. Today I was sitting on the 15.02 from Charing Cross, it was 15.04, still in Charing Cross. The little electric sign (no announcement) updated itself and said "expected at 15.05," which I was slightly sceptical of, more so as it hit 15.06 and I was still sitting there. It then updated itself to 15.09, eventually leaving at 15.11. As it left they have the cheek to announce "The train departing from platform 3 is the 15.02 to Dartford." No sorry, no explanation...not even a bloody acknowledgement, they just said it casually as if it was still 15.02...we do have watches you know!! Is there not some EU regulation against calling trains leaving at 15.11 15.02 trains? I bet Brussels's trains run on time. Lucky that I didn't have an important meeting or hospital appointment, but was in fact just going home to wallow in my current unemploydom. In Japan, you can use the fantastically amazing Hyperdia website and actually plan your schedule and life around the train times it gives...using the TFL (Transport for London) website is totally useless...I wonder why they put times on it to be honest! How can a train even be 9 minutes delayed when it's still at it's first station? My local train map in Japan (above) may have been bloody confusing, but it never failed me once!

Anyway, enough whinge, more of what my loyal readers prefer...self-depreciating stupid stories of stupid stupid things I do. We have the Oyster Card in London for paying train fares in advance, because the world is your Oyster (albeit it 9 minutes later that you were wanting it to be). I have no excuse for this as we had Oyster cards long before I left and they also have Passmo in Japan, but I just keep getting it wroooooong and feeling like a big tourist and wanting to cry, as I get it wrong, I bow at the man for being stupid and get more embarrassed and then want to cry some more - vicious circle line. Nearly had a full-blown row with the Waterloo East man the other day for treating me as if I had an IQ of about 25 just because I didn't know the ins and outs of the Oyster system...I was only asking where I need to check out!! I was already checked in!! I'm the good guy, I wanted to pay!! I say I nearly had a row...5 minutes later I was fuming and would have had a row with him, but my stupid indirect Japanesified self basically bowed and almost cried again. More bowing stories to follow believe me, I'm thrusting my head in people's genitals by accident right left and centre and it is SO mortifyingly embarrassing.

Reverse Culture Shock, Transport Chapter : Japan 1, UK 0