BLANKS
BLANK of the day : The Japanese word for peas is "gureeen piisu", something that is a kind of faux English, because it sounds pretty Englishy and thus 99% of people assume that it has come directly from English and must be the same in English (we have our fair share of these in English too though, such as "bijou" which really means jewellery in French). Anyway, the unfortunate thing about this particular term is that it is pronounced in exactly the same way that a Japanese person would pronounce the charity "Green Peace." Many a confusing moment at primary school when kids tell me "I don't like green peace." However, with primary school kids, I don't really bother with going into it and just tell them that gureeen piisu is just peas in English. However, it came up at 3rd grade junior high the other day (15-year-olds) and I thought, surely I can explain why this is one that you really mustn't get wrong, because they will all know the charity and realise how ridiculous it would sound if you accidentally call a small round vegetable the name for a huge international charity. Guess again Mark. Nobody in the room (including the English teacher) had ever heard of Green Peace....another explanation I wish I had never started!
BLANK of the day: This BLANK dates back to December...Chrismtas lesson...primary school Year 5 ( older than British year 5s, 10 and 11 years old). Bear in mind that everyone in Japan knows Christmas, there is a big Christmas banner on the door of the classroom I am teaching in and half of girls in it have some kind of Santa related strap or hair tie draped on them somewhere. My Christmas quiz had no problem with roast turkey, Christmas stockings or reindeer, the only BLANK in the whole quiz, in fact, was JESUS CHRIST! I had two pictures, one of the nativity and one of him on the cross, not one of 20 kids knew who he was or how he was related to Christmas. "Why do we have Christmas?" "Santa's birthday!" No... "Mark's birthday!" (that was an honest answer from kids in two classes, they were a bit younger than 10 though)...bless, but still, how can they know so much about Christmas and have a huge BLANK for Jesus!
BLANK of the day: I am trying to teach some of my classes (well, all of them, but in some we are focussing on) where they are making mistakes in pronounciation. I have noticed that some of their accents sound a bit Jamaican sometimes for some reason, so I want to explain that although it is not strictly wrong, it is a bit strange to see a Japanese people talk with a Jamaican accent, and it's not like it's a genuine Jamaican accent, it just has slight echoes of Jamaica, so it could lead to misunderstanding. Anyway, in a bid to make it more funny I wanted to get a picture of a famous Jamaican person to print out and raise every time they pronounce something like a Kingston coconut seller about to tuck into a goat curry (not being stereotypical of course). So, I suggest a few to my teacher..."Sean Kingston" BLANK. "Shaggy" BLANK. Worst of all..."Bob Marley" BLANK. Another idea ruined by Japan's BLANKs.
BLANK of the day: Talking with a group of young Japanese people. "Ah this is the song from Slumdog Millionaire" BLANK. "The film from last year with the game show, quiz show, in India" BLANK. "It won ALL the Oscars" BLANK (obviously temporarily forgot the previous Oscar BLANK there" One person eventually clicked, but even after an explanation in Japanese by her, nobody seemed to know. Most successful film of 2009? Japan: BLANK.
BLANK of the day: Season-related drama this week has taken over as it is sort of (finally, after a long period of teasing) becoming spring in Japan! This means that I am often asked about the seasons in the UK at the moment...the Japanese are very proud of their four "clear" seasons....spring, summer, autumn and winter...go figure! My Japanese teacher told me all about spring, summer autumn and winter and then asked me "How many seasons do you have in the UK?" "Four" "BLANK...WHAT? The same as Japan?" Me: "Yes" Him: "What are they?" Me: "Spring....summer....autumn.....and winter" Him: BLANK. "It's the same as Japan" at which point I wanted to turn around and snap, "Yes of course it's the same as Japan, as is the rest of Europe, most of America and probably half of the rest of the world too, I have no idea where you have got this strange idea that it is Japan only that gets spring, summer, autumn and winter..." But I just allow the BLANK to go on...this was clearly a BLANK of disbelief (as if I've just made it up, or forgotten what seasons we have in the UK so have just named the Japanese ones), which lasted the rest of the car journey to be honest. A very long, silent, suspicious BLANK.
BLANK of the day: With year 5 at the moment, we are studying food and the teacher thought it would be nice to talk about food culture/traditions in various parts of the world and asked me if I knew anything about India and neighbouring countries (she probably thinks the UK borders India or something...or that both the UK and India are states of American more likely), the conversations that ensued lead to an impression succession of BLANKs. Me: (all in broken Japanese, admittedly, but I really don't think that was the cause of the BLANKS in this case) "In India, they are mostly Hindu, so they don't eat beef" BLANK..."Aren't they mostly Muslims?" "No, there are some Muslims, but I'm fairly sure they are mostly Hindus (Wiki'd it later and Wiki is on my side). "And Muslims (in other news type thing) don't eat pork" BLANK. "REALLY?" Total shock...she had never heard either of those things before. "And they have halal meat" BLANK, "like Jews and kosher meat" BLANK. "And Muslims also have Ramadan " BLANK. It all descends into an awfully difficult conversation because she thinks I am trying to say Japanese words, but I am saying them wrong, because she hasnt' heard of any of these words before. So she checked all of these things online (just to prove I wasn't a crazy foreigner in the arse crack of Japan, talking out of my foriegn arse crack) and the most worrying thing is that when she reads it, it's not like "Ah, yeah, I've heard that before, or, yeah I see what you mean, sorry I didn't understand you're Japanese", it's like "WHAT??? NO WAY!!". Nobody else in the staff room knew any of the above either...BLANK BLANK BLANK!
BLANK of the day : A general knowledge quiz for primary school year 6 (who are 12 here) threw up an awful lot of blanks..."What is the capital city of England?"...looooooong BLANK....Japanese translation of the question....loooooong BLANK again...."Australia?" "New Zealand?" "Korea?" "No, they are countries, not cities...it's a CITY"...."Errr.....Manchester City?" Haha!
Also: "When did the Second World War end?" was responded to correctly by only one student, meaning that the other 20 or so responded with a big BLANK. Tsssssk tsssssk!
BLANK of the day : This one is much more about being blanked than about a lack of knowledge of foreign countries...was in a cafe with 4 friends today in Tokyo...the waitress, who looked like she was about to commit suicide at any point (or possible already had) came and took three of orders, going round the table in a perfectly normal way and then just walked off before she took the other two of our orders....your order....ok....your order....ok....your order....ok....your order NO ...BLANK....your order NO... BLANK. The Double Whammy! BLANK BLANK just like that. She just blanked off!
BLANK of the day : Me: It's a festival for Jesus. Maths Assistant: BLANK. Me: Jesus....Jesus Christ? God of Christians (simplifying it to help avoid more blanks) Maths Assistnat: BLANK. Me: Impression of my hands up on a cross and hanging my head down (so embarrassing and fairly blasphemous I imagine). Maths Assistant: BLANK.
BLANK of the day : Saying to a class full of 12-year-olds who had just done a mini play: Me: "Yes! You should win an Oscar!...An Oscar!?....Oscar?" (impression of holding and giving an award)....Everyone in the class: BLANK!
BLANK of the day : Conversation with a 15-year-old. Him: "Who is your favourite singer?" Me: La Roux (who I only said because they definitely have here) Him: BLANK. Me: "Amy Winehouse?" Him: BLANK Me: best impression of "Nooooo noooo nooooo" Him: BLANK. So I gave in with : Me: "The Beatles" Him: Aaaaaaaa, ok ok.