Pride Comes Before a Fail

Well, they say pride comes before a fall, but I'm going to use the new "fail" slang that seems to have developed without informing me since I've been here as "pride comes before a fail" adds an extra air of embarrassment, which is fully appropriate for the amount of egg on my face after three recent events. Indeed, bad luck has come in a lovely set of three, as if the God of Japan has read my blog, noted everything that I have boasted about and has decided to teach me a big fat three tiered lesson.

Firstly, I told you how wonderful I am at riding a bike now and how I glide along around the rice fields of Ita-where, with farmers gazing at my grace, speed and control. Cue me cycling into a bollard the other day, trapping my foot between it and a pedal whilst the other foot was still pushing forward on the other pedal (obviously over confident in his counterpart's foot's cycling ability), creating a space between said pedal and said bollard which was far too small for a foot, yet had a foot in it. This happened at a light, embarrassingly holding up the car that was about to turn the corner into the street, which decided to turn anyway, just in time to see me yelp and yell a couple of awful profanities and for the child in the car, who I teach, as the lovely lady of fate would have it, to shout "Hello" out of the window (I was still mid-profanity at the time, so they did not get a response).

Secondly, I have boasted a little about Japanese fashion and having tried out a few bits, some succesfully, some unsuccessfully. Also, in conversation, and in my own head, I have been bigging myself up for saving enough money at the end of last month to go on a fashion splurge in Harajuku, and having made such wonderfully fashionable purchases, which all suit me, were good deals and fit well...perfection. Cut to me on Monday morning prancing around my flat, posing in my new clothes before packing them all for a three-day conference that I was heading off to at about 10 O clock. Such pretty clothes, which would work so well for post-conference drinking and karaoking with other teachery friends. Pit I forgot about the actual MEETINGS that would take up 70% of my time there and forgot to pack a change of shirt for three days...H+M stop off necessary. Total fail.

Thirdly, I do believe that I boasted to a ridiculous extent about my amazing omiyage skills and how all of my presents are superb quality and all go down so well. I sent three sets of Christmas crackers to Japan from the UK at Christmastime, by means of omiyage for three of my primary school. I also sent a card with a quick explanation that they are a British tradition and not common in most parts of the world, even the rest of the English-speaking world or Europe and that if they didn't know what to do, they should ask the fourth grade teachers as we made some in December's fourth grade class in every school. I didn't get many thank yous at all, for what I thought was a very original and fun present. In reality, it played our rather differently. I saw a few teachers with them still on their desk at one school in mid-Feb when I first went back to my primary school shifts, and a whole unopened box (out of one that I sent) at another. At the third school, I got a couple of thank yous and didn't see any lying around, so I reckoned that they had gone down better there. This was until, the rather bolshy (for a Japanese person) librarian, who said "What was that cracker thing?" "Mine didn't make a sound." I couldn't believe it, I've never had a broken one ever. It turns out that she had no idea what it was or how to use it as no-one had shown her the card and the fourth grade teacher hadn't said anything, so she tried to pull in ON HER OWN....and...wait for it.... OVER HER HEAD (I didn't know whether to laugh or cryat that image). We then did a quick survey of some other teachers in the room, to find that two still had their sitting at home because they didn't know what to do and one thought that it was supposed to be eaten!! BIG FAT CRACKER FAIL.