Me and My Bike

Before arriving in Japan, I was informed that I would be working at many schools, all over the sushiless village and that my mode of transport, come rain, come shine, come snow and indeed come typhoon blowing in the opposite direction, would be a BICYCLE. The last time I had used one of these evil contraptions, I was not long out of nappies and it had a pair of stabilisers on it. I wasn't good even then, but, fifteen years out of practice and first time on an adult bike was truly catastrophic. I couldn't go straight, I couldn't turn, I couldn't stop...the bike basically went wherever it wanted and I just obeyed and pulled faces. In a village where there is barely ever anybody around, it was amazing how crowds of people seemed to emerge from the rice fields just in time to see me fall off in to a muddy puddle, crash into a tree, or (all of these things really happened) drop a mini can of sweetcorn that I'd bought in the supermarket out of my old biddy basket on the front of my bike and somehow simultaneously run over it and pop it! I thought I was hiding my crapness quite well, but in fact they prompted most of the very first awkward communication sessions with the people in my village (I won't call them conversations, as I don't think being able to say nothing more than "konnichiwa" really qualifies) being them laughing and doing gestures of handlebars whilst wobbling and pulling scared faces...ha bloody ha.

Anyway, I did get used to it and managed to stay away from trees and even safely transport sweetcorn. In April (8 months after I'd arrived) I was given a new biked. Well, it was newer than mine, but still second-hand, I was very grateful of it though, because my original bike had had "Tatebayashi High School For Girls" written on the back of it as it was a stolen/borrowed/lost/mystery bike prescribed to students of that girls school (not that anybody told me that until it was changed!!!) I was checking the bike with my boss and I was like...the pedals turn too easily, it's way too light... she said "it's on first gear, put it up" so I did and I was like "Oh! It's changed!"...she said "Yeeeess...it's a gear, that's what it's for!" Then I said "yeah, but normally they don't change that much" dawning on my mid-sentence that when I said "normally" I was referring to the one other bike with gears that I had ever sat on in my whole life....we got out the old bike....the gears had been broken the WHOLE TIME I had been using it and I hadn't even noticed because I didn't know what a gear felt like!!! I was so embarrassed!! I had been innocently turning away the little gear knob when it wasn't even changing a thing! To make it worse, it had been stuck on top gear, explaining why there was a hill in town on which I always had to get off and push my bike up and another hill that the first time I went up it I was following a 50-odd year old woman who was showing me the way, who got up it no problem, whilst I broke out in the sweat of the century and caved in and pushed. I had thought that I was the weakest person in the world but it had been a broken bike made for 15-year-old girls all along!

Even if I do say so myself, it may have taken me over a year, but I am a bit of a pro now...I can use gears for starters, I can go really fast and I can EVEN stand up when I cycle. My next aim is to do that thing where you sort of start pushing it and have a foot on pedal before you get on it and then sort of fling the other leg over the seat once the thing is moving...I have been a bit too scared to try that one as of yet though, due to the incredibly high chance of a large amount of humiliation. Half the number of legs on the bike, double the chance of embarrassment, I reckon.
It is still ever so slightly depressing to live in a place that makes you quite literally reliant on your bloody bike to be able to get ANYWHERE, but it is a darn sight less depressing, now that I can get there really fast, whilst standing up and knowing what a gear feels like. Success (albeit slow) on the bike front!

In other news, latest fuss at school is about music. I am doing an event next week (originally) entitled "English Week" (I'm not being too sarcy though, because I chose the title) and I am arranging a few different little things for it. I hope to post about when it's over and when I can be bothered (that's a combination that could be quite a long time coming) but, with it just a few days away, fuss is through the roof. I wanted to play a recent UK chart hit every day next week over the announcer (they have a radio type system here like you used to see on Saved By The Bell or something) during cleaning time. The aim is to teach them about other cultures and to motivate them to study English. They usually have music anyway, so I thought it would be no problem. My teacher told me that lunch time would be better (apparently there is a worry that all the kids are just going to stop still in their tracks in order to listen for five minutes and not do anything whilst the music is on, which I feel is incredibly unlikely to happen, but still...).

Anyway, the upshoot of it being changed to lunchtime (and this an upshoot that has shooted its little head up after I have gone and downloaded 3 rubbish new pop songs from iTunes) is that the head teacher feels the music must be "good for eating lunch to." What precisely this meant was a bit of a blur to me for a few minutes, until what I realised was that they mean slow and boring. Firstly my teacher said "no rock...no guitars" (?) but on playing him clips of the 5 songs I'd selected and watching his eyes pop out of his head and hit the computer screen, I realised that guitars and rock were not the only problem...fast, loud (I'll just turn the volume down??), electronic, rap and DRUMS are also issues...I think I can sum up the severity of the reaction by telling you that he recommended I use the UK NATIONAL ANTHEM as one of my song choices!! I am not kidding!! Is that going to inspire 14 year-olds?? I have spoken to a few other teachers about it, who all seem to think that drums are fine but all said "It's not rock is it?", whispering the word "rock" as if it was a swear word and looking uncomfortable...especially surprising as I'm sure the rock they are imagining is about as risquee as Coldplay after they have had a foot bath and a cup of herbal tea. Ironically the songs are indeed NOT rock, and are in fact poppy things like JLS and The Saturdays who are aimed and kids much younger than the ones I am aiming at in reality. I asked my teacher if drums and fast would be ok if it wasn't too electro and was truly "poppy pop"...which he now thinks is an actual phrase and is throwing it about willy nilly so I am now frantically searching the charts for poppy pop that is good for eating lunch to - not an easy task! I know I shouldn't have said poppy pop but, funnily enough for an English teacher, I rarely have time to think about the accuracy of the English I am using here as I am just thinking about how to make it as simple as possible...I certainly didn't want to introduce the word cheesey into the conversation because who knows what confusion that could have led to?? I've found an older JLS song which seems less electro and that awful Cheryl Cole one "Fight For This Love" which is sort of electro, but has no rap, guitars, drums or indeed tune at all. Let's see if we can come to a compromise which will put the kids off of English slightly less than some choir dirging out "God Save The Queen!" I will let you know!